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Who’s Parenting Whom?

Shelly J. Miller is a professional Intuitive Counselor, Psychic Medium and Transformational Coach known for accessing detailed information to help you release limiting patterns to effect healing and lasting change. Send questions to [email protected] To book a private reading or coaching session, call (949) 237-2960 or go to

Dear Shelly,

My Dad hasn’t been around much since I was about 10 years old due to a divorce. Now, at 23, I want his emotional support to help my brother and I make good choices for the future. When I ask for his help, his answer to everything seems to be to write a check and blame us for our past mistakes. I need him to be a parent and I feel like I am doing his job with regard to helping my brother. I feel like I have to parent my parent and I don’t know what to do to get the help I need from him.

Who’s Parenting Whom?

Dear Who’s Parenting Whom,

We all want unconditional love from our parents. This is a problem that isn’t always cured by growing older but by growing in spiritual awareness. We all suffer from the mistaken belief that we are separate from our Source, which loves us unconditionally. We look for love outside of ourselves to heal our pain. True healing happens when we learn to love ourselves and each other without condition the way God loves us. This is our true purpose in life. It’s hard to expect this from other people when they are having difficulty doing it for themselves.

Forgive your dad for his inability to connect emotionally. He shows his love for you through his financial support. His issue is abandonment, as is yours and your brother’s. Your dad’s parents did not know how to support him emotionally. Write a letter to your dad and genuinely thank him for the support he does give you. Without blame, tell him what you really need is his love and attention and his help to find positive solutions without blame. Share your ideas and ask for his. This is a huge opportunity to learn to parent yourself and your parent with love and forgiveness by remembering that we all suffer from the same illusion. I feel communication is going to quickly open up between you, and Dad is going to be more available to help you and your brother from now on.

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