by Anasia Klang
I’m constantly asked, “Why aren’t you dating anyone?” Lovely question, right?
First of all, I am so in love with myself and centered in my own self-worth, I don’t feel a driving need to go out looking for a partner. If I did, I would only find “needy” in return.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want one. The right relationship can provide support, growth and lots of love, both giving and receiving. Sign me up!
But I think we can honestly say that it’s challenging to connect with a like-minded man. Do they even exist? Are we looking in the right places?
Apps like “Tinder,” “Bumble” and “Coffee Meets Bagel” are all about the outer shell (and usually filtered at that). They can feed the ego or hurt it, and there’s no organic connection. Why would a conscious woman use a nonconscious method to find a match? Face-to-face is the only way for me; energy-to-energy.
Which begs the question… where do I find a conscious face to get energetic with?
People say we’ll find them while doing the things we enjoy. But what happens when we walk into yoga class? We see 99% women! Breath workshop, same thing. Meditation class, sound healing retreats, spirit fairs—not a single conscious dude to be found.
But they’re everywhere else, so I invite you to embrace what I’m about to say: we’re going to change our thoughts and emotions to attract the kind of partner we want; the kind who is learning to balance the Sacred Feminine with the Sacred Masculine and who wouldn’t mind an assist from us to connect even deeper.
How? What vibration should we cultivate to replace the fairy tale? One that encourages heart-to-heart/soulful intimacy over romance. Remember, romance feeds our ego but intimacy feeds our soul. There are a couple things we can do to let him know it’s safe to be intimate without being sexual. For instance:
- Conscious eye-gazing; after a minute or so, openly share the thoughts that occurred for each of you
- Hand and foot massage (non-erotic—you can do it!)
- Baring and sharing emotions before anything else
- Share your Why (why you do what you do, your passion; then see if there’s any intersection)
- Encourage playfulness (dance in the rain, be silly in public together; this helps release fear of judgment) as it comes naturally for both; not something to be pushed to prove he’s not fun
So, maybe it’s less about finding a conscious man and more about letting a man BE conscious and vulnerable and real, which can start with who we are attracting. We had the power all along.