Janna Colaco, C.Ht.
Learn the Art of Holding Space and Watch People Shift
There’s an old adage: “You can never get sick enough to help sick people; you can never be poor enough to help poor people, and you can never be sad enough to help depressed people.” Although empathizing feels good in the moment, empathy alone lacks the power to create lasting change. What’s needed? The transformational space called Possibility.
We are all in helping professions in one way or another. Whether we’re energy healers or nurses, hair stylists, social workers, coaches, bartenders, business people or parents—we all want to make a difference.
How? By believing in others more than they believe in themselves. Interacting with people’s potential, rather than their results, or their history, is the key. It’s essential to hold people as competent and capable, especially if they seem like they’re not.
Have you ever thought a family member, for example, who has messed up so many times they might never change? You worry because you care. But the “space” of worry is actually damaging. It is not healing at all, and energetically, we can damage a loved one without well-intentioned worry.
Armed with this knowledge, what do we do with all that concern?
In order for people to truly transform, it’s more powerful to hold them in the space of possibility, which says, “I love you, and YES YOU CAN!” Don’t fix their problems for them. Don’t over-advise. Don’t pay for their therapy. If you do, you are basically saying, “You need me because you are too weak to do it yourself.”
Conversely, when your loved one feels your belief in them, that they are competent and capable, even with their history of countless failures, they are literally sucked into the positive space of transformation. Your belief in them becomes contagious.
When we hold a context of personal power, love and commitment, people shift, because they feel it.
The first rule of space holding, by my teacher, Jack Zwissig:
“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
I’ll bet your favorite teachers cared about you. Some of them were strict! But they could get away with tough-love because you felt their belief in you! The second rule is:
The ‘If I had a million dollars” rule.
If I paid you a million dollars, could you lose five pounds this month? Of course! What about go to that scary job interview for a million dollars? Duh! Handle your court case? Leave your dysfunctional partner? (Ok, three million dollars.) Certainly! Your self-doubt and anxiety immediately shift to the back burner of your consciousness when offered heaps of money. The best part? You’re worth WAY more than a million dollars. I’m here to help you, or your business, family or friends. Consultations are always free.
Janna Colaco, C.Ht., is a Transformational Hypnotherapist and Master Therapeutic Imagery Facilitator with an office in Downtown Fullerton. FaceTime sessions are available for distance clients. Interested in adding hypnotic suggestions to your practice? You can reach Janna at (714)269-6908, or visit her website: mechanicsofgrace.com.
No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.